@Cheeseboy22: After taking a bunch of 7-year-olds on a field trip to the Natural History Museum, I realized their favorite exhibit was "Elevator Buttons."
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@Faux_Ma: He told me I cut my steak like a serial killer, so I whispered "What makes you think this is steak?" While I stroked his thigh with a knife.
@iwearaonesie: wife: Can we get a kids menu? waitress *brings one* wife me wife me [already doing the maze] wife: Can we get 2 kids menus?
@dreamthievin: I climbed on this seesaw with Rick Astley 3 hours ago. *sigh He's never gonna let me down.