@Cheeseboy22: After taking a bunch of 7-year-olds on a field trip to the Natural History Museum, I realized their favorite exhibit was "Elevator Buttons."
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@TheToddWilliams: You're never gonna believe this but Ben Carson's full name is Benghazi Carsonofsatan
@curlycomedy: How can you teach your child about adversity if you don't leave a diaper unchanged once in a while?
@Epygma: *Jesus drinking at a bar* *jesus orders another drink* "jesus you're too drunk I can't give you anymore" Kan I jst haev a water? "nice try"