@BatBatshitcrazy: After the "incident" at the family cabin, my Indian name is Bounces Off Deck.
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@bourgeoisalien: #TT At 14 I yelled, "You'll NEVER understand Morrissey,dad!!" and tried to run dramatically out of the room but ran into a wall & fell over.
@VirgoSherry: My grandmother told me the secret to staying thin is.......if it tastes good spit it out.
@JasonBerlin: Seems like ladies hate being asked how their Thanksgiving was, no matter how playfully I pat their stomachs.
@MavenofHonor: This milk is so far past its expiration date that I'm only going to have a small slice.