@ImaFlyontheWall: After they got married she even put his truck nuts in a jar.
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@KKAlThani: If you go by "there are plenty more fish in the sea" you'll never find love cause let's start with the fact that you think you can date fish
@rickygervais: I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.
@amydillon: Back-to-school tip for parents: while not explicitly forbidden, it is frowned upon to spray champagne on the hood of a departing school bus.
@UnicornSyrup: I put my phone in "airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. It just fell and now my screen is cracked. Worst. Transformer. Ever .