@juliussharpe: After watching "Breaking Bad" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician.
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@sarcasm_inc: Bouncer: Woah. Dress code Me: This is a suit B: Yeah, a chicken suit. *puts nugget in bouncer's pocket *pats it M: We good? B: Have fun, sir
@ThRealBallsDeep: I wonder if the guy I'm interviewing knows this isn't for a cologne model position.
@tequilasaltlife: I'm a good driver until there is a cop behind me Then I become a paranoid weed transporter from the border