@juliussharpe: After watching "Breaking Bad" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician.
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@trumpetcake: ANNOUNCEMENT: DENIM CLUB MEETING IS CANCELLED. AVERY RIPPED HIS JEAN VEST AT THE SUPERMARKET. HE'S OKAY, BUT VERY UPSET.
@NicCageMatch: The rats outside my apartment building are getting very bold. One of them just asked me for my number.
@Parentpains: This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
@gylertagan: [Property Brothers] Turns out all the electrical wires in this house are Twizzlers so we're looking at another $3000 added to the budget