@juliussharpe: After watching "Breaking Bad" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician.
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@Jayden_Bryce: Dear makers of Axe 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner & body wash, I have no desire to buy your crap. I'm holding out until it's also a car wax.
@TEXASVETERAN: All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is that intelligent men don't get into relationships.
@MunkMania: You know shit's getting real when someone bets their glass eye at the neighborhood poker game.
@Donnie_Fairburn: Her: Let's go see 50 Shades of Grey Me: Tonight? Her: Yes [After the movie] Her: OMG that was so hot! Me: Mom, please just stop talking