@juliussharpe: After watching "Breaking Bad" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@3sunzzz: I forgot my cell phone at home and had to write my grocery list on paper. I shopped with it in my hand like some kind of a carrier pigeon.
@WarrenHolstein: Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone.
@MartaEffing: I don't understand how wild bears can eat all that salmon without a squeeze of lemon and some sea salt.
@murrman5: HI? "The test results came back positive. You have only able to speak in state abbreviations disease" ME? "yes" OH "sorry it's permanent" OK