@Halbeerz: After what happened to Lance Armstrong I'm kinda worried they are gonna come after my bowling trophies
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@JonasPolsky: If you ever feel stupid, just remember that every day, people are searching the internet to find out "Is the drug from LIMITLESS real?"
@vineyille: My hateful coworkers discovered that I eat my lunch in the air ducts and now they've taken to smacking the air ducts with a broom.
@BlindChow: "Shotgun!" I yell as I push past the others and climb into the seat. I am subsequently escorted from the airplane.
@PajamaStew: Through a telescope, I see a woman on a planet light years away. She waves. I wave. I awkwardly realize she is waving to the guy behind me.