@Halbeerz: After what happened to Lance Armstrong I'm kinda worried they are gonna come after my bowling trophies
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@Jc1Johnny: If a woman wants to date me, she has to meet my strict criteria 1. Hair 2. At least one eye 3. A pulse 4. Not that bothered about 1
@GreenishDuck: Sorry it took me 10 months to text you back. I'm a snake now and I typed this with my head.
@dire_beard: Snow White: Someday my prince will come Prince Charming: I swear this has never happened before