@just1fool: After years of failure, the "scientist" that had been trying to create a fake urine nearly went mad after he drank his first Miller Lite.
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@iLikeCatShirts: *throws a rock at a bird* Me [writing in "science" journal]: birds don't like rocks.
@CooIStepDad: [Riot] "WHAT DO WE WANT" *far in the back* PIZZA ROLLS "No Jim we want freedom" "WHAT DO WE WANT" PIZZA ROLLS "JIM" But I'm hungry :(
@KevinFarzad: Sometimes u see the moon during the day and it's like, wow, how embarrassing. Showed up early because you were bored? Get a life, nerd moon.