@just1fool: After years of failure, the "scientist" that had been trying to create a fake urine nearly went mad after he drank his first Miller Lite.
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@AndyAsAdjective: I got my first real 6-string Bought it at the 5 & dime Played it til my fingers bled Mom sued the guitar manufacturer & settled out of court
@birbigs: Instead of presents, give your kids "presence." Then explain how homonyms can be hilarious. Then leave forever.
@iMikosnyc: This lady on the train has that raspy, cigarette, alcohol, at death's door kinda voice. I'ma see if she'll record my voice mail message.