@BarebakAssassin: After you're done looking for true love on Twitter, you should go ride a unicorn around Atlantis, then eat some heart-healthy ice cream.
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@_SingleBabyMama: Drug commercial...Don't take this medication if you are allergic to this medication. Oh, ok. That's super helpful, thank you.
@PeaceInTruth1: I've never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo.
@realHamOnWry: What did I learn getting fired today? Never walk behind your boss, poke his bald spot and yell, "Hey, you've got a hole in your haircut".