@LosLos__: Why is everyone smiling at me today?
*checks fly*
*no pants*
Aaaah.
@CatherineLMK: I'm dressing for the weather I desperately want, not the weather I currently have.
@3sunzzz: My husband and I make a good team. I'm about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he's taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors.
@BillMc7: Just saw a spider. It was sleeping. I crawled into its mouth.
@Holy_Mowgli: ~mattress store
ME:i need to use the intercom
CASHIER:no
M:this time for real…my kid's lost
C:
M:
C:fine
M:*to entire store*I SEE BED PEOPLE
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