@LosLos__: Why is everyone smiling at me today? *checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

@CatherineLMK: I'm dressing for the weather I desperately want, not the weather I currently have.

@3sunzzz: My husband and I make a good team. I'm about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he's taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors.

@BillMc7: Just saw a spider. It was sleeping. I crawled into its mouth.

@Holy_Mowgli: ~mattress store ME:i need to use the intercom CASHIER:no M:this time for real…my kid's lost C: M: C:fine M:*to entire store*I SEE BED PEOPLE