@jon_albo: Age is just a number? I stole $100 from your wallet and replaced it with a $5. Don't worry, they're just numbers.
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@PetrickSara: My husband watched me clean the entire house today, and then asked me if I had a relaxing day. I get why the spouse is the first suspect.
@offbeatoliv: I like how Angelina waited to divorce Brad Pitt until Jen got married. Well played Maleficent...well played...
@1Happytwit: Some bloke on FB called me a clown. Now I've got to go hide under his bed with a knife cause that's what clowns do.