@GoldenSpirals: * Aggressively aggresses your aggressions into aggressivity. *
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@Christi_Q: Dating is hard because guys are like "You're hot, can we do butt stuff yet?" and girls are like "It's been 3 days, where's my ring?"
@OrvllShrednbchr: 10 years ago, as a joke, I told everyone I was giving up sex for Lent. Haven't gotten laid since. Well played, God.
@djdarrellripley: Going to church doesn't necessarily make you a nice person... It does, however, make you sleepy.