@bridger_w: "Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who's pointing out a constellation
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@NurseMurderer: I never understood movie scenes where they have to train assassins. just drop me in some hot climate, don't feed me and I'll kill everyone.
@MichLKosinski: Music teacher comes to our house. Gives our kid a significant, noticeable haircut. Tells no one. Then leaves. !!!
@xosm: Kid: would you rather be the Evil Queen or the Wicked Witch? M: I'd rather be the Mom K: ooh, right. Much scarier.
@IamEnidColeslaw: I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move