@bridger_w: "Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who's pointing out a constellation
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@krisv_723: Carol learned a hard lesson the day she forgot the word berry when googling blueberry waffle recipes.
@tastefactory: DOCTOR: We were all out of blood for your transfusion so we used Mountain Dew ME: [I don't hear bc I already snowboarded out the window]
@SadieSkyNinja: I love going to the gym this time of year because I'm a perfect example of what years of neglect and nachos can do to a body.
@crunchenhanced: [In cubicle at work] *pretends to start clipping my nails* *tosses uncooked grains of rice onto co-workers desk with each clip* CW: WTF!