@shutupmikeginn: Ah yes keep complaining the guy at 7/11 doesn't speak English well enough, like you aren't the moron who needs help in a convenience store
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@LnL245: I secretly gave our Waffle House waitress a $100 tip and my family can't figure out why she's crying & hugging me & trying to get in our car
@Diversion50: I like to imagine the person who originated Head & Shoulders shampoo had really, really hairy shoulders.
@man_spach: When the machines become self aware their first order of business will be changing our perception of how robots dance.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Afraid to fly? It's perfectly safe except that air traffic controllers are all gov't employees forced to work the holidays. Merry Xmas.