@funnybrad: Air Bud seems like a great movie, until you realize some poor kid was cut from the team to make room on the roster for a golden retriever
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@trevso_electric: If diet and exercise are not working for you, try actually dieting and actually exercising.
@daplusk: [on 1st date] Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before? Her: No, I'd love to Me: Same Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim
@alliejane_508: I once left a love note on the wrong car, so yeah, you should totally trust me with important paperwork.