@shutupmikeginn: air hand dryers are afraid of people and when you put your hands near them, well, thats them screaming.
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@melliemeow: I have on my new shoes today. They are so cute, and comfortable, as long as I don't stand in them or walk in them.
@tigersgoroooar: Just saw a car with a license plate that says FLSH ME. Ok, douche. What are you, a dead goldfish? Flush yourself.
@Kyle_Lippert: *plugs my phone in to charge when it's at 80%* *lets the low battery warning on my fire alarm beep for 6 months*