@shutupmikeginn: air hand dryers are afraid of people and when you put your hands near them, well, thats them screaming.
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@nicfit75: Since getting the new iPhone with fingerprint unlock technology I've never worried so much about losing my thumb.
@CommonSavant: Huffington Post says all that passive aggressive behavior can harm your marriage. In other obvious news, water is wet and the sun is hot.
@peachesanscream: The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.