@shutupmikeginn: air hand dryers are afraid of people and when you put your hands near them, well, thats them screaming.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@david8hughes: "911? Help, my house is burning down!" "Sir, we're sending the fire brigade right now." "I HAVE ENOUGH FIRE I DON'T NEED A BRIGADE OF IT."
@meganamram: I can't believe it's 2012 and street signals are still only telling white people to cross
@vexroid: Cell phone. Recliner. Beer. Not at work. This homeless guy is living the dream from what I can tell.
@furrrizzle: Dear diary, My date got really excited when I said I wanted to cook for him. Apparently Meth wasn't what he expected. Dating is bull shit