@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Airline just told my GF she has too much baggage & they've only known her a couple of minutes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iwearaonesie: If you start smacking people with your wife's purse she won't ask you to hold it for her anymore
@LackOfShame: Brain: What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on? Do the math! Me: Seriously?! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow
@david8hughes: Wife: where's the baby? Me: up on the roof Wife: THE ROOF? Me: relax. He's got sunscreen on