@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Airline just told my GF she has too much baggage & they've only known her a couple of minutes.
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@TheDailySchmuck: I was dating this girl until I found out she stuffed her bra with tissue paper. Then I was hooked because serious allergy issues.
@ClichedOut: [about to post] Social Media Police: Is it reliable Me: Yes SMP: Source? M: I heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend SMP: Proceed
@BuckyIsotope: Kanye West builds a time machine so he can interrupt himself interrupting Taylor Swift.