@SadMeterologist: Airline passenger fell asleep on my shoulder. It was already awkward so I just went ahead & braided her hair.
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@KeetPotato: drummer: "just add er on the end of your instrument" guy who plays trumpet: "so im a trumpeter, ok cool" guy who plays trombone: "oh no"
@Scdavis24: Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
@TheBoydP: Top Five Accountant Taboos: 5. Unreconciled difference 4. Doesn't foot & crossfoot 3. No journal entry support 2. Cooking the books 1. Sex