@SadMeterologist: Airline passenger fell asleep on my shoulder. It was already awkward so I just went ahead & braided her hair.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@doublewenis: Dude! Stop being such a baby, man up, walk over there and ask her if she like, 'like-likes' me.
@TheFearBoners: I have to put reminders in my phone for everything or I'll forget it. Like 'pick up milk,' 'go to bank,' 'you don't hate minorities.'