@nthonyswan: Airlines. Graciously giving you the choice to have feet, or a personal item, but not both.
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@prattprattpratt: If not for the cowardly actions of John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln would have turned 207 today.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Guinea pigs aren't real pets. You buy them when your kids are begging for a dog, but you want to make them sad instead.
@KKAlThani: Sometimes I get take out sushi and eat it at an aquarium just to remind the fish who's boss.
@ShockTartBionic: I'm like Jason Bourne, only I'm not looking for exits in each room.. I'm looking for outlets & phone chargers.