@nthonyswan: Airlines. Graciously giving you the choice to have feet, or a personal item, but not both.
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@ItsAndyRyan: "We've been blessed with a second son, another prince" "I hope he doesn't grow to resent his older brother, Mufasa, who one day will be king" "Let's call him Scar"
@FeelingMervis: UGH. When I text girls that I have standards, I really need to stop abbreviating the word standards to STDs.
@newLettuce: Me: who wants to help me name my new cat? Friend: count me out Me: wow, strong opener! *pronouncing as I write* Count… Meow
@yenniwhite: "Don't play with your food," I say to a toddler eating crackers shaped like farm animals.