@ScottLinnen: Airport moving sidewalks are great for when you only want to feel like George Jetson for 10 seconds before you're back to Fred Flintstone.
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@Amburglar_: I teach curse words and racial slurs to children whose parents allow them to run around restaurants.
@dafloydsta: [date] HER: *staring into my eyes* Whatcha thinking about? ME: *daydreaming about dogs on trampolines* Just you, girl.
@dollfaceiam: When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would the hulk do?" Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!