@TheTweetOfGod: "Al-Qaeda: 'ISIS Goes Too Far'." Ah the Middle East, where al-Qaeda is the voice of moderation.
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@mattytalks: Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I'm pursuing you online and from my couch
@NoogsCorner: That awkward moment when Batman opens the condom compartment instead of the Batarang compartment in his utility belt.
@danjan13: My gf 1 month in: haha OMG I love your Twitter. I definitely don't think it's weird, it's so clever! My gf 2nd month: listen