@VikeeysSecret: Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors.
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@SteveSuckington: [wife gets home & sees shit on the rug] What's this? "It was Rover he w.." *dog makes throat slice gesture* "It was me. I shit on the rug"
@TheBoydP: "I have to poop" ~What teenagers say when they don't want to do something you've asked them to do
@ElgatoEsmio: At the state fair I realized none of my troubles matter when you dip them in batter