@VikeeysSecret: Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors.
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@Bearslietoo: Playing hard to get works with some men but apparently cops call it "resisting arrest."
@platinum2000: "If you're pregnant you can't get pregnant, the same goes for getting arrested, can you lick this?" I ask, trying to roll a joint in cuffs.
@Matt_The_1st: Hot girl in the avatar, but no selfies in your pics. I'm just gonna call you "bro" from now on.
@jergarl: *takes ambien Oh. You said NO ambien before dinner at your parents. Wife: Really? Me:*already getting naked* I'm sure it will be fine.