@Sam_From_Kansas: Alan from Facebook is concerned about "boarder" control and thinks they should "learn our langage"
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@Shawn_spree: Wife: Am I grotesque? Me: No, angel cake! Wife: Why did you call me a cake? Me: Cake is round? *runs *
@joryjohn: [Baby crying in a movie theater] Me: "What's his name?" Parent: "Ethan." Me: "The movie's starting, Ethan."
@DirtMcTurd: Two things you need to know about me: 1. I am hung over. 2. Sometimes I say the word over for no reason.