@WookieOnUnicorn: Alan Rickman lost in the woods, leaving a trail of perfectly pronounced words
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: [Batman at McDonald's] What's your chicken sandwich called? -A McChicken And the rib? -A McRib [pulls out his batwallet] I like your style.
@hazelmotes1: It seems to me that if you can afford a barrel and a pair or suspenders you can afford a pair of pants.
@david8hughes: [ouija board] "Spirits are u there? I A M H E R E. Y O U W A N N A T A L K? Y O U W A N N A H A N G O U T? [squints] "A needy board?"
@lisaxy424: the mechanic said it would be $800 to fix my brakes and I actually thought "how badly do I need them"