@uccjeb: Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you're up. Million dollar idea.
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@weenbeans: *rubs temples* security guard: Hey you! Stop touching the historic buildings at this ancient religious site!!
@thatcarlygirl: New exercise regimen: I can only sit down when my toddler does. So far I've lost 17,000 pounds.
@funnybeachgirl: I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with dad and left with mom.