@uccjeb: Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you're up. Million dollar idea.
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@beefman138: Dear people filming disasters : You need to zoom out before running for your lives. Nobody likes blurry footage, you selfish animals.
@weinerdog4life: Do not break eye contact with your waitress as you put the spaghetti in your wallet.
@SaraMansford: Maybe artists wouldn't be so starving all the time if they'd just eat all that fruit they're always painting.
@PrettyInCamo11: I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor and think, "I'd tap that."