@uccjeb: Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you're up. Million dollar idea.
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@QuinOShea: When my wife said let's do something fun for our anniversary I had no idea she meant together. I'm a man not a mind reader. I forgive you.
@jonnysun: age 1: goo googa age 2: im a babada da age 3: thank god i can finally speak. listen, i've been observing u for 3 years now. what are u doing
@mattmanic: How cute would it be if park rangers had tiny handcuffs for raccoons that steal campers' food?
@Try2StopME: The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements which may or may not have included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later.