@uccjeb: Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you're up. Million dollar idea.
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@InternetHippo: [genie emerges from his lamp] Master, what is thy— [he sees me on the bed pointing at the remote like 3ft away] Are u kidding me
@NicestHippo: Thinking is hard, that's why I appreciate websites telling me in advance how I will feel about the article
@what_eve_r: my aunt: why u kids always on them phones cant u have a real conversation me: *puts down phone* *crosses legs* why did u melt the ice caps