@donjuantip: ALCOHOL. Because no good story ever began with, "So, I was sitting there eating this salad..."
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@Reverend_Scott: Carl: Perfect weather tonight. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: Butterflies taste with their feet. Me: Fair enough.
@ambamthankyamam: My life coach just asked me leave because apparently she has "other pedicures to do" and doesn't "speak English".