@donjuantip: ALCOHOL. Because no good story ever began with, "So, I was sitting there eating this salad..."
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@Kalarlis: 007 is fired, becomes a scientist. He opens meetings with, "The name's Bond, Hydrogen Bond." Everyone laughs. He cries in the supply closet.
@robfee: Sorry Im late, I was staring at a wall for an hour thinkin about how delicious that pizza looked on Home Alone 2 when Kevin got in the limo.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: [taking out trash] Me: Hey, I'm Jo. I live over there Neighbor: Yes, you say that every week. M: I'm sorry, I'm high af N: You say that, too