@jaslakhmna: Alcohol because no great conversation ever started over a salad !
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@CulturedRuffian: Cat 911: What's your emergency? Cat: I knocked everything off the tables now I'm scared! Cat 911: Seriously? Cat: No, LOL! Cat 911: LOL!
@Sanbel11: - Are you even listening to me? - Of course I am - Ok, what did I just ask you? - If I'm listening to you
@teenpuke: *cute person sends me a selfie* *tries 897285623895 times to take a cute selfie to send back to them*
@GetCougarized: I just realized the straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress, and not for what I've been using them for all this time.