@3_livi: Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos ..
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@_thatigirl: 83 yo man, "You speak pretty good English for a Chinese girl". Me: "I'm caucasian". Him, "Well, any kind of Asian looks Chinese to me".
@capricecrane: Alanis Morissette sings about having 10,000 spoons when all she needs is a knife. And nobody asks why she has 10,000 spoons?
@shutupmikeginn: The pigeons behind my apartment are fighting for claim to half a rain soaked hotdog. Fighting me.