@Jenniferf42: Alcohol doesn't cause hangovers....waking up does.
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@shkeeber: I'm not drunk. I'm a gravity inspector... ...and everything seems to be in order here. *falls down/passes out*
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [date] W: I'm really into astronomy. M: Oh! What's your sign? W: The one that knows the difference between science & superstitious idiocy.
@MatCro: "Pete's coming for dinner tonight." "Pete from work or Pete who thinks he can walk through doors?" [Massive thud] "I'll just check."