@Scdavis24: Alcohol doesn't make you fat... it makes you Lean... on tables, chairs & random ugly people...or sometimes floors
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@shawnspree: Me: (Insert inspirational quote here) Wife: Wow. That's deep, who said that? Me: I did. Didn't you hear me speak just now?
@Pierre__4: The only thing we have to fear is fear itselfnnANDnnWhen a women asks if you notice anything different
@TheRomanParker: Oh, you like Five Guys hamburgers more than In-N-Out? *unfollows *blocks *stews *hires assassin on Craigslist *unblocks to monitor situation
@Bandersnaaatch: I will love you 'til the end of time, or until my blood alcohol level normalizes, whichever comes first.