@whatdreamsmaygo: alcohol has an odd way of revealing who we really are. turns out, I'm batman.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: Do the dishes Me: Can't. Holding the baby Wife: Take out the trash Me: Can't. Baby Wife: Change the baby Me: Can't. Doing dishes.
@WilliamRodgers: Don't let that "Metalica" t-shirt fool you. She knows every word to Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball"
@Sickayduh: [recording studio] Producer: Um what're you guys doing? Singer: Ending the song Producer: You don't have to fade out. We'll do that in here.
@ibid78: Rookie cop: "But sir, why would man's laughter be a crime?" Chief: "ffs kid, it's one word. Manslaughter."