@whatdreamsmaygo: alcohol has an odd way of revealing who we really are. turns out, I'm batman.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TravLeBlanc: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with two police officers, you'll know that setting them free was a bad idea.
@hipchkk: Apparently, some parents are not appreciative of a sweet super supportive air horn during a children's piano recital.
@ThingsJackDigs: PILOT OVER INTERCOM: I have some bad news, but before I tell you, keep in mind that the Wright bros could only stay airborne for 12 seconds
@squirrel74wkgn: [at dinner] Wife: This is terrible. Me: Horrible. Waiter: Hey folks, how's your food? (simultaneously) Wife: Amazing! Me: Fantastic!