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@GrapeJuice40: Alcohol is best served.
@neiltyson: Jan 21, 2015: The 1989 film “Back to the Future II” showed life on Oct 21, 2015. So we’ve got 9 Months to invent Flying Cars.
@WeissBrandon: Cop: know y I pulled u over?
Wife: to invite me to the state trooper's ball?
Cop: state troopers don't have balls
Cop: drive safe
@phobophile: You've just made a very lazy enemy my friend.
@iwearaonesie: wife: You're home early
me [hugging the dog] I had to see you
@ceejoyner: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone if you want babies throwing rocks everywhere. Dangerous.