@GingerGander: "Alcohol is just water with feelings in it," said the girl who failed chemistry.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@nbadag: *watching my hamster gnaw on his tiny broadsword* you are a disgrace to your lineage and bring great shame upon this house
@joeyellis: ENTER PASSWORD. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. RESET PASSWORD. NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD. sets fire to computer
@lisaxy424: I'm going to bed and my hair looks amazing; I feel like the woman in every mattress commercial.
@drwgmawr: Sneezed while doing sign language and accidentally threw up a gang sign. 17 drug lords are chasing me down the street. Send help.