@li4mst3w4rt: alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, "why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"
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@DilemmaEmmaEmma: Once when I had a broken toe, my mom told me to walk it off. When Princess Di died, she sobbed for a day.
@QuietPsycho: HR: know why you're here? Me: I put my tongue in the candy cutter Union: well..unsafe..but fired? HR: the candy cutter's name is Trish
@xLiserx: *Batman happily approaches Batmobile* Wife: Forget it, Bruce! We have two car seats & need to go to Costco. *Defeatedly gets in Batvan*