@AllTheUglyTruth: Alcohol is photoshop for real life.
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@aveuaskew: *walks into interview* Thanks for coming in today. I'm Mr. Maballsonya, but please call me Phil. *walks out of interview*
@DanKCharnley: I'm jealous of turtles because if they don't want to talk to someone, they're like "Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later."
@KalvinMacleod: Their palms are sweaters, knees sweatery, arms are sweaters. There's more sweater on their sweater already.