@AllTheUglyTruth: Alcohol is photoshop for real life.
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@T_N_Crumpets: WIFE: COME AND GET RID OF THIS SPIDER ME to spider: I told you, you'll get your money. Leave my family out of this SPIDER: you've got 2days
@WhatevaConc: No Brett, I didn't even read that email. I'm not speaking to you because I overheard your Starbucks order this morning.
@decentbirthday: Buddha: all life is suffering Me: alright dude, chill out. they said your food would be out in ten minutes
@desusnice: someone using bare hands to put salad on a plate is letting you know they're not here for discussions about etiquette or anything really