@torrami: Alcohol is the leading cause of me getting yelled at for being a pterodactyl on the coffee table.
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@platinum2000: If you're suddenly feeling warm and wet, it might be because I put your Voodoo doll somewhere warm and wet.
@Julian_Deane: Let’s move on now. if I had a pound for every time I heard a Brexit joke this week I’d nearly have a Euro.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: You need to eat vegetables instead of candy if you want to be tall. 4-year-old: I’ll just be small and happy.