@torrami: Alcohol is the leading cause of me getting yelled at for being a pterodactyl on the coffee table.
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@Thynebear: Did you seriously hire a mentally unstable person to drive our kids just so you could say he's driving them crazy? Me as a principal: Maybe
@VodkaShorebird: Just think, there is coming an entire generation of idiots who will wonder: "Why did they have a hashtag button on landline phones?"
@Cheeseboy22: Since Monopoly replaced its tiny iron, the talking mice in my walls now all have wrinkled shirts.
@KKAlThani: "How do we hide Superman's identity?" They asked. A man kicked in the door & yelled "With glasses!" & everyone started clapping for him.