@madam_daze: Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
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@GFGander: Sucks when good bands have dumb names. "What are you listening to?" "It's Made Out of Babies, they're really great." "..."
@AristotlesNZ: Wife: Who let the boys out? Me: Woof woof woof! Her: Who let the boys out?! Me: Woof woof woof! Her: KIDS ARE IN THE STREET! Me: I'm going..
@Karate_Horse: [tense situation in the war room] "Ok now type in the nuke codes EXACTLY as I say them or it'll blow.1-4-7-teen" CRAP [huge explosion]