@AGStr8upNinja: Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee's you're buying it off of sure can.
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@sageboggs: "Is that the guy who doesn't know how to use the word poignant?" Yea shhh he's coming over here THE GUY: hey guys! long time no poignant
@Shira: Only in America would people violently trample each other for discounts, exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have...
@NJPsychDoc: My neighbor introduced his wife to me as his better half. I returned the courtesy by introducing my wife to him as the lesser of two evils.
@StaceyShortcake: The last time I was 100% sure about a decision was in 3rd grade, and that box of 64 crayons with the built in sharpener didn't disappoint.