@AGStr8upNinja: Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee's you're buying it off of sure can.
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@dorkwing_duck: Young God: ok, a little hydrogen and- *chemistry set explodes* Mom: what was that?! God: nothing! *scoops resulting universe into shoebox*
@dshack8: "I really have no idea how to pronounce my name but I won't admit it." Guys named Geoff.
@Midlifecrisis18: Sex in your 40's: (Position change) * CRRRACK * Her: Was that me or you? Me: Just go with it, we'll assess injuries later.