@Adam14: "Alexander's not so Great" - younger brother, Steve the Ok
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@Marlebean: Have you ever considered shaving that beard and gluing it to your bald spot? ... Oh! You meant a question about the job position!
@michaelianblack: I always rode clean. Always. Never won any bike races. Never competed. Don't even really know how to ride a bike. #vindicated
@weinerdog4life: One time my dad caught me doing homework and made me eat an entire pack of calculators
@neiltyson: Odd that the silent way to alert performers they should quickly end their act is a gesture to slice your own throat.