@Surgyen: Algebra,trignometry, and calculus are responsible for more doctors than the actual love for the profession.
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@jergarl: Wife:Have you seen the bag of dog treats? Me:*flashback of drunk me eating what I thought was a bag of beef jerky.. No? W: Really? Idiot.
@patnspankme: Best part of being married is blaming your partner for shrinking something in the dryer because you're getting fat & it doesn't fit anymore.
@robfee: Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck, no one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.