@Surgyen: Algebra,trignometry, and calculus are responsible for more doctors than the actual love for the profession.
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@internetluke: [showing my family to coworker] This is a picture of my daughter & my cat. Mittens & Jack. "You named your daughter Jack?" Nope, mittens
@hangin_out: Blood is thicker than water. Maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it.
@notshivi: Everyone prepare yourself for National "How is it May already?" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.
@CroweJam: Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea.