@hazelmotes1: Aliens are in space right now watching all these movies where Tom Cruise defeats them, and they are laughing so hard one just peed a little.
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@JediGigi: *eats pizza out of box in bed *falls asleep *wakes up next to leftover pizza Voila! Breakfast in bed!
@bourgeoisalien: [robber breaks into my house] i always knew you'd come for me, my darling. where are you going
@DanMentos: "There's Dave" Regular Dave or Dave who thinks he's a hotdog and "f" is a vowel? [cut to Dave writing in a book titled "Diary of an frank"]