@hazelmotes1: Aliens are in space right now watching all these movies where Tom Cruise defeats them, and they are laughing so hard one just peed a little.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iRowlf: Sorry I look depressed. It's just that when I heard the sound of your high heels on the hardwood floor, I thought a pony was in the house.
@MotherJonestown: STAGES OF DRUNK: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don't wake up the cows.
@flashember: ME: I have so many questions SOOTHSAYER: forsooth ME: Exactly lol S: SOOTH ME: Yeah so- S: Sooth? ME: You only say sooth eh S: *nods* sooth
@ABostonTwit: Walk into the club like whatup OWW Walk into the mace like what DAMN Walk into the sword like wha *dies* *flunks gladiator school*