@SamuelHLowe: Aliens must know that we're an easily conquerable race if they've ever seen us try to cancel a printer job.
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@markhoppus: "The concept of romantic love is obsolete in the modern era" I declare loudly to no one in particular as I grab for another dinner roll.
@SamGrittner: The government has officially replaced all measurements of time with fruit. More news at banana.
@ValeeGrrl: My neighbor's 2yo is on my front lawn shouting NO NO NO NO. Not sure what she's protesting but I'm gonna go join her.
@Wtftab: I've got a bag full of stick figure stickers, and when I see an SUV I add random dudes to their families.