@disco_bird: All firemen must dread the moment when they're done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
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@bigmacher: When my wife sends me to the grocery store solo with a specific list I am not allowed to improvise. That was made clear when I got home.
@NoogsCorner: Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way.
@squirrel74wkgn: Sorry honey, I didn't get you anything for Valentine's Day. Wife: It's not until next week... [one week later] Sorry honey, I didn't...
@radtoria: SOMEONE LEFT THEIR DOGS IN THE CAR WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP -Ma'am, that's a pack of Ballpark All-Beef Franks. ITS 500 DEGREES IN THERE