@disco_bird: All firemen must dread the moment when they're done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
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@WhatsHerFace33: A spider jumped on my wife which made her stumble backwards and fall over her bag. Oh how I laughed! Tweet posted from the guest bedroom.
@brianbowman73: I heard you like bad boys? *jumps in pool after eating without waiting an hour* Sup.
@nealbrennan: When people are trending on twitter, I know that they died or said something racist.