@shariv67: All I ask is that when I'm murdered, you make my chalk outline four sizes smaller.
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@dave_cactus: ME: Well, time to make like a tree, and leaf. HER: *giggling* So, my place or... ME: *starts sprouting leaves from my fingers* HER: WHAT THE
@squirrel74wkgn: If my wife comes to bed nude it's ON, but when it's me at the end of the bed naked she's all "what are you doin, we're at Mattress City."
@KeetPotato: chickens lay eggs every day right? so is that why we eat eggs? so chickens don't take over the world?
@bazecraze: A National Treasure where Nicholas Cage has to find the model number on a 15 year old dishwasher.