@dougbies: All I did from 1984-1990 was try to shoot the laughing dog in Duck Hunt
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@GreyPath1: I am a woman . You are not supposed to know what's on my mind. For heaven's sake, I don't know what's on my mind.
@HFromTheNam: Husband:-"So when you starting back at the gym"? Me:-"Why"? H:-"Because you need to" His funeral takes place next week.
@onume_: Son: Dad I'm in love with a girl just like mum. Father: So what do you want from me? Sympathy?
@man_spach: My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.