@dougbies: All I did from 1984-1990 was try to shoot the laughing dog in Duck Hunt
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@Tmoney68: My kleptomania has always been a challenge, but stealing from this bakery really takes the cake.
@Rlpihl: [driving 2 school] *looks back,sees toothbrushes in child carseats WAIT! IF YOU'RE HERE THEN... [cut to kids at home, covered in toothpaste]
@aveuaskew: It isn't a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I'm fine by the way.
@Brampersandon_: GIRL: Dad, I want you to meet my boyfriend DAD: Your bf is a bald eagle? BALD EAGLE: *adjusting toupee* I'm just a regular eagle actually