@joshandbeyond: All I got for Christmas was a sweater, I would've preferred a moaner or a biter.
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@dlockw21: IT: You deleted the OS? Me: I think so. IT: It didn't warn you? Me: Yeah, but it only kinda warned me. What's with the inquisition bro?
@Rollinintheseat: The circles under my eyes are so dark, Animal Planet is following me around filming a documentary about a raccoon out of its natural habitat
@awkwardphilippe: Age 10: One day I will get married and have 10 kids Age 20: I hope I find someone neat Age 30: *hissing sound*
@TravLeBlanc: If you say "no ifs, ands, or buts", then get ready for a shitload of "shoulds", "as well as", and "howevers".