@ddrwg: All I wanna do is *gun shot* *gun shot* *gun shot* *cash register noise* *goat sounds* *mousetrap explodes* wake up from this weird dream.
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@weinerdog4life: No time to explain, I need 300 copies of this cat! *throws cat at Kinko's employee
@Cheeseboy22: One of the World's Strongest Man events should be "Pulling apart two shopping carts that are stuck together."
@trojansauce: ME: *vaping* FRIEND: is that just a fountain pen? ME: *ink all over my teeth* nope