@CoopSoSarc: All I want from a woman is for her to hold my hand, look into my eyes, and tell me it's ok to get out of her bushes.
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@simoncholland: I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.
@jordan_stratton: WINSTON CHURCHILL: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." ONE-LEGGED MAN WHO BARELY SURVIVED A SHARK ATTACK: "Yeah... and sharks"
@suzieQ0007: People with stick figure families on their car: Oh look how cute we are! Criminals: I'll need 3 rolls of duct tape.
@SufficientCharm: Alfijnbahkfnbsbbakrbbjdnebzk hzueonyvag macarena yrvixndvwhkga ndhwkdbcbe hayvektoubabrjnahor HEYYYY MACARENA