@illTortuga: All I want to know is why Antonio Banderas' hair has been wet for 20 years.
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@DudeImShawn: Math problem: Q: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? A: Diabetes. John has diabetes.
@UrbanDouchebag: I wonder if flies ever think, "I bet I could get this guy to slap himself in the face." Because they'd be right.
@fro_vo: [first date] Me: so what do you do Date: i’m an accountant Me: oh nice Date: thanks Me: Date: Me: so how many ants have u counted so far