@illTortuga: All I want to know is why Antonio Banderas' hair has been wet for 20 years.
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@ddsmidt: If someone shows up at my house unannounced, I won't open the door. I just stand on the other side of the glass shaking my head no.
@StarWarsProblms: Officer: We're building the Death Star as fast as we can. Vader: I have new ways to motivate you. *implements margarita Tuesdays*
@ItsAndyRyan: [Library] MAN: Do you have books on fire? LIBRARIAN: Yes, in the Chemistry section MAN: Come on boys! *Swarms of firemen enter with hoses*
@WheelTod: [Home Depot] Me: Hi, I'd like to return this toilet plunger, please. Cashier: I'm sorry, is it defective? Me: No. It worked great