@joci2203: All I'm saying is there's no coincidence that Superheroes come in all forms and so does cheese.
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@MarfSalvador: Reporter: Is it true you delivered a pig with TWO heads?! Farmer: Yes I did Farmer's second head: WE did
@DaddyJew: Judge: how do you plead? Guy: well usually to my wife Judge: haha I feel ya brother, bailiff please fist-bump the defendant
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My mom just texted me to say that her dog killed 2 groundhogs in her backyard this morning so I think she may be doing Groundhog Day wrong.
@stephenjmolloy: Pilot: "What does this button do?" *intercom turns on* Pilot: "Doesn't do anything. Not sure what any of these buttons do."