@TheBoydP: All I’m saying is when I’m drunk in the backyard I still put my shirt on just like everyone else, one leg at a time...
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@Snarfernini: *boss walks in Me: I lost my contact Boss: Why are you naked & why is Greg under your desk? Me: Boss: Me: Shut the door when you leave
@turtledumplin: Why would anyone come on Twitter JUST to argue? Don't you have an ex, or a spouse, or a family member that you can argue with?
@Brianhopecomedy: A guy that was falsely imprisoned for 10 years got free tickets to the Super Bowl. That guy is SO lucky.