@TheBoydP: All I’m saying is when I’m drunk in the backyard I still put my shirt on just like everyone else, one leg at a time...
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@punmagnate: MAYOR'S TIP: before you spend 20 minutes blowing an air mattress, make sure it's really an air mattress, and not Gary hiding under a blanket
@AClkwrkStarfish: The boy is putting whipped cream on the cat. I think he may have overheard a conversation he didn't understand quite so well.
@simoncholland: A few weeks ago my dad decided he was going to order pizza from his iPad. He's almost finished.