@totallyinatiff: All liquor stores are open 24 hours. When you have a brick.
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@salamingia: Hi, is your resort child friendly? Yes it is sir. Would you like to make a reservation? *hangs up
@WheelTod: [Vegan Conference] Announcer: While we await our key speaker, please talk among yourselves Vegan: I'm a vegan Vegan2: I'm also a vegan
@WilliamAder: Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they'd never get caught.
@joeljeffrey: I hate when people try to make small talk on the elevator. "How's it going?", "How about the weather?", "Where are your pants?".